


In the Act of Contrition (The Beauty of Confession)

by Aoife, IShouldBeWriting



Series: 31 Days @ LJ: 2013 [21]
Category: Honor Harrington Series - David Weber
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Church Of Humanity Unchained, Community: 31_days, Doctrine of the Test, Gen, Marriage Politics, Political Expediency, Protectorate of Grayson, Religious Content, Religious Guilt, Theocracy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-08
Updated: 2013-05-08
Packaged: 2017-12-10 20:19:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/789749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aoife/pseuds/Aoife, https://archiveofourown.org/users/IShouldBeWriting/pseuds/IShouldBeWriting
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Andrew seeks out Benjamin to make confession.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Act of Contrition (The Beauty of Confession)

**Author's Note:**

> Same verse, [This Is Political (It's Not Personal)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/774019) & [Like Moths Around A Flame (…Onlookers Just As Guilty As I)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/789459).

The footsteps behind him were familiar enough not to raise his hackles unduly but, still disconcerting in the fact they no longer truly belonged to him - for he'd given the man who made them to another. “Hear my confession, Your Grace. Help me find God's forgiveness, for I have failed in the test He sent me, and I am afraid.” Andrew LaFollet’s voice was both low and soft, murmuring words that were both comforting and dangerous at the same time.

Benjamin turned his head a fraction, just enough to see the other man’s expression, and realised that he was deadly serious in his request to offer his confession. “You’re sure this can’t wait,” he asked, trying - and failing - to keep the annoyance out of his voice. It had been a long day, he was tired, wrung out by combat with the Conclave and wanted time with his family.

“No, Your Grace. Lady Harrington leaves Grayson again in twenty-four hours and I -” there was a faint blush coloring the armsman’s cheekbones. “- I -” Benjamin rolled his shoulders, looking to his own armsman, he gave the man a tiny gesture that saw him break off outside the room they were about to enter.

“What in the Comforter’s name could you have possibly done that couldn’t wait Andrew?” Benjamin had settled himself into his armchair while he asked the question, expecting Andrew to either stand or take a seat, but the other man knelt before him.

“Bear witness to my sins, You Grace, for what I have done something unforgivable; I beg you to hear me, for I have failed my Test and now I require your guidance and your Sword to make contrition for my failure.” The old words rolled off Andrew’s tongue with a ponderous weight, for they were rarely used, but it was the sheer misery in his tone that actually dragged Benjamin out of his annoyance long enough to recognise the seriousness of the matter.

Pinching his nose briefly, Benjamin reached deep for words that he’d been taught when he was younger, but rarely had cause to use. “Then come before me, my son, and give to me the burden that he has laid before you, and be truthful in the telling of your sins, and trust to him who is our Lord that we will find a way.”

Andrew seem sag in relief at the words, but his remained bowed as the confession poured out at long last. “You chose me for Her, You Grace, with the express expectation that I could find a way to understand her place in our world so that I could protect Her and our traditions at the same time. But I’ve failed - failed Him. I know that My lady must marry, and that though you hope she will marry for love, necessity dictates politics is considered. Despite knowing that, despite being a child of Grayson, I have driven off a man who expressed interest in My Lady without her explicit instruction to do so; a man who had the potential to be a strong ally for our world, and one of the only men who could have a truly equal match for her. I see now that I have failed my Test, Your Grace, and having failed, I cannot be trusted with Her Protection, and I know not what to do.”

Looking down at the other man’s bent head, Benjamin couldn’t decide whether to laugh or wring the other man’s bloody neck. All the signs had been there - even Howard had told him - and yet he'd ignored them. Perhaps he had chosen too well when he’d selected Andrew as Honor’s armsman for the younger man was half in love and half in awe with his Lady and this would complicate things. Despite how tired he was, Benjamin did the best he could to put a solemn expression on his face; not to solemn though, while it wasn’t convenient, perhaps it was going to end up better for them all this way. But this was was his Test - to find a way between their Old ways, and the new ones represented by his first female Steadholder.


End file.
